Felt 3 Update!!
OR: I don't mean to toot my own horn, but...

Did I not say?
I don't mean to toot my own horn, but did I not say?

Felt 3: A Tribute to Rosie Perez.
Produced by Aesop Rock.

I called it.

ps. This will be my last post on the subject, at least 'till the album drops, as I don't want to come off as a Rhymesayers street teamer or something, this is just something I'm really excited about hearing. The preview single is, in the parlence of Kevin Federline circa 2004, "The Fire".
In case you missed my hotlink the first time, Cop it HERE.


The Worst!
Or: the "in the theatre" part is accounting for "Last Days".

On this, the evening I will experience a new film by Quentin Tarantino, the man who has crafted some of my very favorite films, I will tell you the story of one that's not only polar opposite, but also timely as it's recently reared it's ugly head. Simply put: The worst movie I've ever seen in a movie theatre.

It was a more innocent time, the summer of 2008. This very blog was in it's infancy, The democrats were deciding between a charismatic black man and a shrewish old harpie in a pant-suit, and the world had become enamored with a young, well fed Michael Phelps. I was wandering around the ScotiaBank Theatre Paramount, I believe there to make use of their bathroom facilities on one of my many marathon walks, when a woman approached me with a clipboard. I don't remember what her exact pitch was, but it was something to the effect of "Do you like these movies" and on her clipboard read the following:

Knocked Up
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut
Wedding Crashers
Napoleon Dynamite

and a few more. I liked all of these movies*. I believe she also asked me if I liked Micheal Madsen. "Sure, who doesn't?" She then offered me free tickets to a test screening of a new Michael Madsen comedy, thats stylistically in the same vein as the movies listed on the sheet.
Sounds awesome, right?

A couple weeks later, we arrived in a timely fashion as part of a completely packed audience. Evidently, there are a lot of people out there who like the idea of a free movie. What I also noticed was the variety of demographics represented. I even noticed a cute elderly couple, in their 80s if a day, a couple of rows behind us. We were all ready for a good time at the movies.

The movie we saw was called "You might as well live". It centers around a completely unlikable character named Robert Mutt, whom I'm sure the writers thought would come off as endearing a la Napoleon Dynamite, but ends up just being loathsome. Michael Madsen's character, a bit-part at best, is Clinton Manitoba a childhood hero of Mutt's, who doesn't show up till 2/3rds into the movie. The movie takes Mutt from a mental ward, to an S&M party, to being a drug mule, and many other over the top situations all on a journey to "be somebody". Highlights include gratuitous penis shots, and watching Robert Mutt take a shit into a tire. The gross-out humor fell so flat, I found myself feeling embarrassed for the elderly couple who had been duped into watching it.

When the credits rolled and the lights came up, I noticed something; Of the 300 capacity theatre, about 40 people remained till the end of the movie and received comment cards.

Theres a moment in the overlooked film "What Just Happened?" where a film producer played by Robert DeNiro, looks over the comment cards from a test screening, and to his shock the comments are uniformly, aggressively negative. About 45 minutes into this movie, I knew the only reason I was staying was to do my part as a test audience member, and the rip this movie apart on my comment card, for the betterment of mankind.

When the time came, I ripped it a new asshole, and while feeling that I had wasted 2 hours, I left content that at least that terrible movie will never see the light of day.

Cut to last week, when while walking to work, I noticed this looking me in the face...

It took them over a year, but it looks like it's actually coming out.

Long story short: Avoid this movie like an STD. You've been warned.

* Napoleon Dynamite to a much lesser extent than the rest. In fairness, it's due to factors having nothing much to do with the initial watching experience. The film itself is quirky and funny, but the amount of people immitating the character (see also:Austin Powers, Ace Ventura & Borat), and the amount of film makers who think a few quirky characters and a hand-writing font makes a good movie (and the studios that fund them) have soured my overall opinion of it.


Murs+Slug is the group, but Felt is the fabric
OR: Izzuzu Troopah!

It was announced this week that LA indie-rap living legend Murs would be teaming up with 1 half of Minnasoda's Atmosphere, Slug for for the 3rd in their series of tributes, Felt 3.

Each one of the previous releases was a "tribute" to an actress who was (at the point of release) out of the public eye. The first, produced by Living Legends' The Grouch was "A Tribute to Christina Ricci". The second, was produced by Atmosphere's Ant, and was "A Tribute to Lisa Bonet" (with comic book accompaniment by Jim Mahfood).

On the third release they've decided to have fun with the fans and be secretive about who the producer is and who the tribute is going to be to.

Murs + ? + Slug = Felt 3: A Tribute to _____ _____.


Well, before it's revealed, I'll put in my guess and see if it turns out being right. The producer has been heavily rumored to be everyone from Wu Tang's The RZA to Jake One to rapper Aesop Rock, but the actress is completely up in the air.

My guess:

Murs + Aesop Rock + Slug = Felt 3: A Tribute to Rosie Perez.

We'll see!!

In the mean time, get the new track "Protagonists" HERE (Right-Click, "Save As...")


Bloggin' 'Bout Bags
OR: and yet bottled water's popularity holds sway

The most beautiful thing you've ever seen will cost you a mere five cents.

This is going to be hard to believe, But in the interest of full disclosure, I am not a professional blogger, Artist or Rock Star (I know! Crazy!) I currently hold down a retail position at a record store. It's an interesting time for music retail - The phrase "polishing the brass on the titanic" comes to mind. But alas, that's another discussion for another day. What I am here to rap with the kids about is plastic bags.

As recently as about 2 months ago, Ontario passed a by-law requiring all businesses that use plastic bags to charge a minimum of 5 cents for each bag, in an effort to curb plastic bag usage.
Ring the bells and sound the alarms: Something that was once free is free no longer!!

Now, reasonable people would merely shrug this off, see that it's for the greater good of the environment and adjust accordingly. But reasonable people are not a downtown chain record store's primary demographic. The rise of downloading and iTunes has changed not only the volume of customer, but the attitudes in customers as well. Now a days people already have a built-in indignance when it comes to actually paying for music, movies and the like. Most have found other ways to get their music (legal or otherwise). So, slowly but surely, it's the people who are ignorant or frightened of technology or change that are becoming the most visible percentage of customers.
Simply put, We deal in crazies (and the elderly).
and let me tell you, Crazies don't like paying no damn nickel for no damn plastic bag.

Reactions are varied, but almost always negative.
When asked, some puff their chests and loudly exclaim "Nope! No sir!" as if they're the Rosa Parks of plastic bags, and it's a badge of honor to carry their season of Murphy Brown under their arm like a library book. Some decline as if their far more sly than to to be foiled by my clever ruse, smiling at me, heads slightly cocked back as if to say "I'm onto you." Others are far more accusatory in their refusal; "Not if YOU'RE going to CHARGE me!!", like I'm pocketing the money myself, all a part of a grand scheme to get all Oprah rich, 1 nickel at a time, and all below the radar of my corporate overlords.

It's a curious set of circumstances. A lot of people will roll their eyes and groan if they see me break stride to bend over to pick up a nickel off the sidewalk. "Look at this cheap bastard" they say. But when the same sum of money is being asked of them at a cash register, they're shocked and appalled. They hold onto their nickels with such a firm grip like it's their newborn autistic child and I'm asking them to smash it's face with a hammer.

I'm not saying everyone should buy a bag, quite the opposite, just be aware that it's now the law, and adjust accordingly. And if one day should you decide to buy something on impulse and or otherwise not have a bag on you, don't act like it's the poor sales clerk's fault. Because he might be a blogger, and might get angry enough to make fun of you. Publicly. Online. So there.


Or: ...

Just posting a couple of videos to see if anyone is still listening/reading...

2 "Regulars", 1 "African from an Asian country"

5th Grade Reporter Damon Weaver interviews "Tall and Nice" President Obama

Aaaaanyways... For those who care: Blog returns Monday.