OR: Kurt got Melvined, and not by Death

It's long been my belief that Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey is a totally under-rated sequel. I truly feel like it's superior to it's predecessor, Like T2 was to Terminator, Or Dark Knight was to every other movie ever made. You get a young Alex Winter and a pre-Point Break Keeanu Reeves, with all the silliness and amusing characters as "Excellent Adventure", but with none of that history paper shenanigans that felt like they were trying to shoehorn in book learning into it. "Bogus Journey" takes our (inferred) stoner duo to Purgatory, Heaven, and encounters with Aliens, Death and no less than 4 different pairs of Bill and Teds. Sure, that "Station" thing was kind of bullshit, but BATBJ (whoa! Bat-BJ!) has many good ideas that really captured my imagination as a boy.
Most of all, the idea of "Personalized Hell".

Now, I'm not a religious man by any stretch, but I've often thought about what my personalized hell would consist of. For Bill & Ted is was drill Sargents, deranged easter bunnies and hairy lipped grandmas. Maybe in mine I'd be the main course of a thanksgiving celebration between all my ex's, unable to move of communicate, while they all quite vocally commiserate over what an asshole I am while tearing me apart and eating me? Maybe I'm stuck in a room with 10,000 cell phone users and all I want to do is finish a book?

Or maybe I'd think I was in Heaven, and had gained admission to a show of a band I always loved but never got a chance to see. Like the Ramones or Nirvana. Let's say Nirvana. Kurt would get up on stage, still alive and 27, exactly how you'd picture him. He'd approach the mic to sing, and as soon as he was about to let out his first word....Jon Bon Jovi's poofy whine would come out! Almost as if he was merely a puppet, unable to control his own body or voice. Flava Flav's voice would be next, and then that crying pussy Dave Mustaine, or that treasure troll looking guy who married Avril Lavigne.

Come to think of it....it would look exactly like this:

By now, many of us have seen Kurt Cobain playing hype-man to Chuck D, or belting out "You give love a bad name" like he means it. For anyone who was ever a fan of Nirvana or what they represented, it's pretty horrific. Having him appear in the game isn't necessarily a bad thing, look no further than the largely tasteful usage of The Beatles in their recently released Rock Band game for proof that in CAN be done right. But I think it's pretty apparent to anyone who can see the above video that having Kurt Cobain be an unlockable character, with the ability to participate in every song is a fumble of epic proportions.

So who's to blame? Many would point the finger at Courtney Love, and that's never a bad place to start in situations such as these. After all, she's in charge of Cobain's estate and thus would have to sign off on using his likeness (as I understand it, Her, Dave Grohl and Krist Novoselic have equal ownership of Nirvana music, however the estate is hers, and likeness rights would be in her jurisdiction). Is it Activision, the gamemaker's fault for not being more sensitive to the legacies or reputations of the musicians they're using to sell their games? Perhaps, but Activision in the business of just that, selling games. If exploiting memories of a beloved musician is going to aid in that, then they're only doing their jobs. One could argue that all Activision did was present players with a playable Kurt Cobain, and what they chose to do with it is up to them. After all, You don't HAVE to play as Kurt for non-Nirvana songs, and if the option to do so was a concern maybe ol' Courney Love-Cobain (ever notice the "Cobain" is only ever added for emphasis when dealing with Nirvana related business? It's like an exclamation point...) should've read over the contracts before signing them. You'd never see Paul McCartney and John Lennon tag-teaming a Megadeth song along side cartoon characters, and for good reason - they have an iron clad team of professionals working to preserve their respective estates, and poor Kurt has, well...Courtney Love(-Cobain!) to tend to his.

The fact that she's now trying to sue Activision, after the fact, is pretty ridiculous. Sure, Activision are facilitating besmerchment, but that's not a crime. I mean, You don't need a video game to make Kurt Cobain look foolish if you really want to. All you need is an imagination, and no matter how hard she tries, Courtney Love cannot sue your imagination.

Like look, Here's Kurt Cobain LITTERING.

Hows that? That do anything for ya? Well, how about this - Here's Kurt Cobain knocking over a child's snowman. Such a dick move!

I think the bottom line is: Just because you can make Kurt Cobain sing and emote like Gavin Rossdale doesn't mean you should. I don't know if it's as a result of the internet, or if the internet is just bringing a preexisting facet of the human condition more out in the open, but the Can/Should ratio in people's common sense is starting to get seriously warped.

Hey!....Here's Ghandi kicking a baby!!

1 comment:

  1. This whole post makes me happy. I love the drawings and I just noticed that your signature is awesome as well.