The Cheese went bad OR: Hey, Fuck You Michael Cera!

Imagine a world where people have memories 2 months long. Where sheer repetition is applauded and mediocrity holds sway. Imagine a world where people absolutely never tire of stories featuring nervous, awkward 19-24 year old protagonists.

This is the world in which Michael Cera lives.


The AV club reported this week as a part of their "Weekly Buzzkills" (on a story that MTV news picked up on) that apparently Michael Cera continues to be the lone hold-out on the much anticipated "Arrested Development" movie. Apparently now that he's a big movie star, he has better things to do that appease the very people who got him there.

Don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed his stuff thus far (I mean cripes, I was Paulie Bleeker for Halloween), but I imagine he thinks that people are never going to get sick of him playing a nervous kid in his late teens or early twenties. That theres a never ending torrent of scripts being mailed to right his front door where he just needs to show up and be charmingly befuddled. But, the truth is he's been stretching whats basically 1 character for an entire TV show run, 3 big movies and a web series.


Not even Pauly Shore kept peoples interest with 1 character for that long.
Some actors can, but Michael Cera isn't Woody Allen, or even Stephen Wright. He's Pauly Shore, and right now is about time that the short-lived "Pauly" is being canceled and people are starting to go "...you know what? Fuck the Weasel!"

"Well, maybe he's TRYING to get away from that one character, hence not wanting to reprise it in an Arrested Development Movie..."

I hear you Italics, but now that the cat's already been let out of the bag, it's kind of a bitch move to not do the movie. I mean, Bill Murray has been nominated for an Oscar, and is still down for Ghostbusters 3, and this guy is too too cool for school already?

What he should do is triumphantly return to the role that thrust him into the spotlight, and then move onto being a jittery bomb disarmer or badass with a heart of gold eskimo fireman, or a Jive Talking Robot , or whatever the devil it is he wants to do. Retire the awkward teen, but not before you send George Michael Bluth out with a bang. It's well deserved. He's been waiting for a bang for several years now. Make it happen.



ps. I should also mention: If this post contains anything that may bother, or be in any way disagreeable to one Miss. Ellen Page, I can take it down. Seriously. I don't mean to dis your boy. Nothing but love for ya, boo.

Oh No You Didn't! OR: YES WE DID

As I write this I'm just arriving home from watching Barack Obama's historic inauguration at a jam-packed Bloor Cinema, with chants of "Yes We Can" from fellow jubilant onlookers still ringing in my ears (along with the less rousing "We will, We will Barack You!"). While not quite Washington, I felt as close as I could be with the thousand or so people watching, cheering, booing and laughing. It was a celebration (bitches).

What was most surprising was not only the sheer amount of people, but also the diversity in the crowd. Not only were there the expected college-age political nerds and abroad Americans, but also many elderly folk, business types, toddlers in OBEY-styled Obama shirts and even a school field trip or two.

Seeing it with a crowd really emphasized many of the more memorable moments; The unabashed cheering when Obama was sworn in. The laughs provided by the bible big enough to bludgeon an infant to death with that Joe Biden used to be sworn in on. The boos, hisses and chants that accompanied every shot of now ex-president George w. Bush, and that purple and yellow scarf/turtleneck combo that made him resemble a Batman Villain. Most of all the heartfelt applause that trailed every line of Obama's first speech as President.

It was definitely a morning I didn't regret getting out of bed early for.
Heres to the next 4 years being better than the last 8.

- Matt,
Self-appointed Canadian Ambassedor for Good-Times, Obama Adminestration

ps.

I shot this video for all who couldn't attend. The Oath and subsequent reaction. Enjoy!

2008 OR: "Go On..."

Hey Kids!

Did you miss me during my completely planned 2-week sabbatical? I know I failed to mention the break any time beforehand, but rest assured, I didn't just get busy with other things like the holidays, moving and a subsequent bout of illness. I wouldn't do that to you. I would always find time to blog (I wish the same could be said for that lazy little scamp over at Mambo about Masonry...).

Anyways, long before I ever had a blog (or Al Gore gave us the Internet), I would always make Top 10 lists. About everything. Me and Rob Gordon from High Fidelity were very much kindred spirits. Top 10 breakfast cereal mascots. Top 10 zingers delivery by Hobbes the Tiger. and on and on. At the end of the year, I'd gather up the big ones, Best albums, Best movies, etc. I'd like to pretend I was a celebrity panelist for Spin or Rolling Stone and dole out my whimsical opinion to the masses.
Now with the internet, and blogs, it's not only the bass player from Interpol who can see his Top 10 list be seen. Everyone can, and more importantly, by the time this goes up, everyone has.

But, like the very spirit of coming late to the party that spawned this blog in the first place, here's my much belated top 10 stuff of the year list...like you give a rat's ass...


Top 10 albums
The past year feels like I've been in my own little bubble. A lot of the music I bought this year we re-releases, or otherwise considered "back catalog", and thus, for the first time in a number of years I had a hard time coming up with 10 albums for my top 10...

1. Dillinger Four - C I V I L W A R
2. Alkaline Trio - Agony and Irony
3. H2O - Nothing to Prove
4. Aspirations - EP!
5. International Superheroes of Hardcore - Takin' it Ova!
6. Murs - Sweet Lord/For President
7. Atmosphere - When life gives you lemons, you paint that shit gold
8. Foxboro Hottubs - Stop, Drop & Roll!!
9. Amanda Palmer - Who Killed Amanda Palmer
10. The Game - L.A.X.

Disappointments: Reggie and the Full Effect - Last stop: Crappytown, Lil Wayne - The Carter 3

Anticipated:
Green Day - TBA
Thorns of Life - TBA
Brand New - TBA
Lily Allen - It's not me, it's you
New Found Glory - Not Without a Fight
Lifetime 7" on No Idea
Get-Up Kids Reunion tour

Albums that may never be released but are none-the-less anticipated:
Ghostface & Doom - Swift and Changeable
Ol' Dirty Bastard - A Son Unique
Raekwon - Only Built for Cuban Linx 2
Dr. Dre - Detox


Top 10 Movies
This year I watched 117 movies (I counted) that I had not seen before. A good percentage were released in 2008, which I think was a stellar year for movies in general. Here were my favorites...

1. Dark Knight
2. Iron Man
3. Zack and Miri Make A Porno
4. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
5. Wall-E
6. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
7. The Wrestler
8. JCVD
9. Burn After Reading
10. Cloverfield

Honorable mentions: Seven Pounds, Kung Fu Panda, Funny Games, Son of Rambow, Milk

Anticipated: Watchmen, Inglorious Basterds, Fanboys, Monsters v. Aliens, the Rum Diary, I love you man, Funny People, The Other Side of Truth, Arrested Development, Bruno

Worst: You might as well live
(luckily, I saw this as a test screening, and I'm certain it will never be released)

Top 5 Documentaries

1. Religulous
2. Confessions of a Superhero
3. Wesley Willis's Joyride
4. Gonzo: The Life and Work of Hunter S. Thompson
5. D-Tour: a Tenacious documentary


In the past there have been other categories, but I don't watch enough TV anymore, and I'm no longer one for thinly veiled relationship references, so I guess thats about it!

PS. In case you didn't get the memo (or xmas card):
ME AND BATMAN.
It's on, bitches.