Sunday Sunday Sunday!! OR: 3D Up, Hiding Tuffs and Bruno Goes Down

Sunday was interesting for many reasons. After work I decided that two days having gone by without seeing the newest Pixar movie was two too many, and went and saw UP!


Drizzling that extra helping of “aw neat!” on top, was going to see it in 3-D. Having not seen anything in 3D for a number of years, the 3D content which amounted to 2 Trailers, followed by the mandatory Pixar short, followed by the film, were all breathtaking. There were no dramatic pointing/throwing things at the audience, as the film wasn't made specifically for 3D, but it gave the scenery that much more pop and depth, and for a film that's set primarily either in the air, or in the wilderness, it really works wonders. Also, with the newer 3D technology, gone are the Meth blue 'n' Red 3D glasses, replaced with much cooler Wayfarer-styled plastic specs, which I kept.

The film itself is, as expected, totally heartwarming. If you don't walk out of there with a smile on your face, you're basically probably a dick. Just sayin'.
It has one of those lump-in-your-throat moments, a la Bambi's mom, it has a lot of silly laughs, and a ton of heart. Also, it pretty much goes without saying, but the animation is stunning. The way they've mastered things like hair, and textures and fabrics is something to behold. Another thing I like about Pixar is, while they're all profitable big budget Hollywood pictures, they also never seem like anything is shoehorned into the story for the purposes of marketability. Never does the whole narrative break down so Elton John can sing a song, or so they can introduce the 10th auxiliary character that's now available in stuffed animal form, and while Pixar soundtrack albums and toys do exist, they do a much better job of making the story of the film come first. They may never outdo The Incredibles for me, in terms of a subject matter being close to my heart, but UP is definitely another notch in Pixar's impressive winning streak.

On the way home, I opted to walk down a oddly baron Queen West and through Trinity Bellwoods park. Once I was about half a block away I saw 2 cop cars parked in the middle of a grassy area to the right, with their lights flashing. “Well” I said to myself “At least I'll feel safer going through the park”. When I say “safer” I don't mean I'm concerned about violence, I just mean that there's less of a chance of catching an unsavory looking public sex act out of the corner of my eye when there are so many cops around. So I walked up the stairs and continued on my way home. The park was, like Queen Street, sort of unnervingly quiet and free of people. I looked a bit further ahead and noticed more police cars, parked with their lights on, stationed throughout the park. And then more. And then more.
Once I was about to exit the park I was at a fork in the road, and I noticed the police had barricaded the end of each street with police cars parked sideways. “What have I just walked into and why didn't anyone stop me from walking through it” I wondered.
Here's an artist's rendering:


Once I exited onto Shaw, I saw an officer blocking off a small gap in the street's island with a motorcycle. I imagined him to be the badass rebel of the police force. “I work alone.” he'd say with a quiet intensity, silently recalling the one time he messed up and got his last true partner killed, one day before his impending retirement. “You're a loose cannon, Walarski!” the Chief would shout, getting an excellent view from behind his desk. “But you get results.”

I slowly walked over to him and began to explain “Look, if this is about the 3D glasses, I'll gladly give them ba--” he then cut me off “Where are you coming from, Buddy?”.
This jarred me. I was not his buddy.
“Um, just walked through Trinity Bellwoods...”
“Trinity Bellwoods” he repeated. “Where are you headed?”
“Home - College and Shaw”
“College and Shaw” He again repeated to himself, my confidence in his badassery waning with each repeat.
“So....Whats going on?” I asked.
“Well, theres some guys with guns in the area, we're trying to find them.”
“Oh.”

He then instructed me to talk an alternate, sort of pain-in-the-ass route home, making sure to walk down the middle of the street, with my hands out of my pockets. From there on, the remaining 10 minutes or so of diverted walking, I passed maybe 6 more police cars, all giving me the eye. I don't know if they ever caught the “Guys with Guns” in question, but I hope Walarski got him, and then drove his motorcycle through a plate glass window and then a moving train, and it turned out the guys with the guns killed his partner so he was all “mendozaaaaaaaaa” and got his just revenge, then walked the earth without a sense of purpose... But I digress...

Once I had returned to my stately manor and logged onto the internets, it was abuzz with talk of a single moment from that night. Twitter, Facebook, Digg & message boards were all chattering away about one single thing, and that single thing was this:



As I imagine you've all seen by now, The Andy Kaufman of our time, Sasha Baron Cohen ended up shoving his bare asshole into the face of a very pissed off Eminem. Was it staged? Was Eminem in on the joke? The message boards and Twitter accounts were feverishly dissecting the clip. Many people were quick to call Eminem a Homophobe, which, may or may not be the case (he's certainly done things that make cases for either sides of the argument) but using this scenario as proof of his homophobia is a pretty flimsy argument. Within the context of the clip, and it being not planned out, I don't think reacting badly towards someone unexpectedly throwing their bare asshole to within inches of your face qualifies as homophobia. Richard Simmons would have reacted the same way. Would rimming him have been the "PC" thing to do?

But either way, it turns out Eminem was totally in on it, and the whole thing was meticulously staged, and even dress rehearsed. In a blog post that's apparently since been taken down, head writer Scott Aukerman said:

"Yes, the Bruno/Eminem incident was staged. That's all anyone wants to talk about, so let's get it out of the way. They rehearsed it at dress and yes, it went as far as it did on the live show then. Okay, you can stop reading this blog now!"

So, there that is.

Between heartwarming 3D animated joy, to guys with guns, to Bruno's anus, Sunday night was fun.