I think I can beat Mike Tyson OR: My life in Math

As it stands, I'd put myself firmly on the "casual" side of video gaming. I get myself a new console approx. every 1 1/2 console cycles or so, and usually purchase no more than about 5 games for it. But it wasn't always this way. Some of my fondest childhood memories involve Nintendo's classic little grey box. I can remember the winter after "The Wizard" came out, finally getting my hands on Super Mario Bros. 3 (the WiiFit of that era, in terms of calculated hype and even more calculated hard-to-findedness), sitting listening to my also recently obtained cassette of Kid N Play's "Funhouse" album over and over and trying to master SMB3. I don't know that I ever did. Then, and still now, I lack sticktoitiveness. But it's the journey, not the destination, right? I knew what happened. Bowser fell through bricks, the Princess was something of a cock tease, See you all next year.
Regardless, this was the equation for fun, back in '90:



Now that I'm a little older, a little wiser, and my tastes have gotten more sophisticated, the same equation has now more like this:


At this point, I think I should mention to my readers, and my mum, that that last scandalous mathematical equation was a joke.
The truth, albeit less exciting is a lot more like this:



...or even more recently, much to my own shame for being so in line with my particular age demographic:



ANYways, math problems aside, I'm a pretty limited gamer these days. Of the current gen systems, I only have a Wii. There are only a handful a series' I care about, and I only recently (like 2 weeks ago) found a first person shooter¹ that I actually liked. Although, One title I've consistently found myself returning to, with the same enthusiasm and zeal as when I first played it, is the NES's "Mike Tyson²'s Punch Out!!".
Which is why I'm so excited to see this:





Even after the releases of Street Fighter 4 (PS3 & 360), Grand Theft Auto 4 (PS3 & 360) & Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe (PS3 & 360) I'm happy I chose to get a Wii, because of games like this. Also, I've still never beat the original. Piston Honda is a vengeful rat bastard. But maybe with this new incarnation, I'll finally have my much sought after glory. I may even buy a pair of these.

Oh, It's on.




¹ Which is the dominant genre in video gaming these days. A lot has been said about what that says about us as a culture, that facilitating fantasies of murder; simply running around various terrains with various weapons shooting the crap out of each other, are the most popular games in the multi-billion dollar gaming industry. But, from where I'm standing it comes down to this: After smoking weed, sneaking up on someone and shooting them in the dick is FUCKING FUNNY. It absolutely never gets old. However, It could just as easily be a pie throwing game, where you could sneak up and pie people, and it would provide the same level of comedy and satisfaction. However, they don't make that game, and until they do, we're stuck with guns and war and bloodiness. C'est la vie.

² Even though, as Mike Tyson isn't (and perhaps never was) a good character to put into a PG rated kid's video game, and Nintendo has removed all trace of him from subsequent re-releases, sequels and virtual console releases, it'll always be "Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!" to me.
For more on Mike Tyson, check out this interesting documentary/extended interview HERE. It was brought to my attention to ?uestlove of The Roots, and his every-10-minutes Twitter account.