B is for Bullshit (thats good enough for me)

Things just keep getting more and more ridiculous.

So, apparently, Barack Obama supporters are primarily violent criminals, or atleast thats the messages one McCain campign worker would like to send out.
According to this article, Ashley Todd from Pennsylvania claimed to have been robbed by a "dark-skinned African-American, 6 feet 4 inches tall with a medium build and short dark hair, wearing dark clothing and shiny shoes", who then, upon noticing her McCain/Palin bumper sticker, attacked again, this time carving a backwards "B" into her face with a dull knife. "You're going to be an Obama Supporter!" he apparently cackled while mid-carve (I can only assume it was followed by a rousing "Muhahahahahahahahaaaaaaa!!", but again, thats speculation).
Both John McCain and Sarah Palin phoned to show their concern. The Obama camp issued a statement. The Drudge Report had a field day.

Oh, but one thing, it was 100% Bullshit!

Today she admitted the whole thing was a hoax. She had scratched the B on her face with her nails, in her rearview mirror, forgetting the basic proprities of a mirror, and the B showed up backwards.

On it's own, this story is both amusing and angering. Theres nothing funny about baiting America's racial tensions for political gain, but such a world class asshole has to be laughed at.

However, something strange happened to me last night that made me see this story a little differently. I was walking home from a rousing and energetic show at the Wrongbar by Isreal's Monotonix, and listening to the audiobook of Barack Obama's "The Audacity of Hope", when an older gentleman approached me. He was quite well dressed in a suit, had thinning white hair, and because of his monocle and pocketwatch, comicly resembled the Monopoly guy. He motioned to me, but I could not hear him. He appeared to mouth something like "Pardon Me, Sir", so I took off my headphones in an attempt to engage with the man. With my headphones off, Barack Obama's smooth timber leaked into the night air, and then something strange happened. The man, hearing the audiobook, was thrown into a violent rage. He removed his monacle, and smashed it on the ground. Confused by what I was seeing, I attempted to sidestep the man and continue on my way, but he was deceptively quick for his age and stature, and picked up a glass monocle shard and lunged at me before I had a chance to escape.
"I'm going to make you a McCain Supporter!!" he said, while punching me in the face. He then took the glass shard, and gave me this...

(Note: the "M" is backwards)

Beaten and cut, I lay on the sidewalk along Queen st, as he jumped in his Bentley, and motioned for his driver to drive away, laughing the whole time. Nobody was on Queen st. to corroborate this story, and I refuse to seek medical attention. But still, you get the idea. Rich white people are fucking scary. Vote Obama!

(and stay classy, GOP.)